No longer a "closet member"

I am a weight watcher. There...I said it. It's out.

Since as far back as I can remember...I've been "concerned" about my weight. I've never had an eating disorder, but I can't remember a time during which I didn't think I needed to lose weight. Translation: I've never been content with my body.

The facts are: #1 I have - let's just say- "not so good" genes. Don't misunderstand...I have great "jeans." Thanks to my sweet husby who bought me the pair I'm currently wearing at full price from Gap for my birthday last year. I love them. But, back to the point: I have not so good genes. My mom has struggled with her weight her entire life. I'm sure she'd enjoy me sharing that with the blogging community. She'll never know. Point is, I'm not a naturally thin person.
Fact #2: I only have to look at ice cream or baked goods (two of my favorites) and I'll gain inches if I'm not careful.

Regardless of the fact that I've always felt that I needed to "lose a few," I've always been a fairly average weight...I think. Am I the only one who sometimes feels that I'm not sure if I'm overweight or not? Either way...I've always been a fairly average weight until my freshman year of college. You always hear about the freshman 15 and believe you me that is not a myth. I gained it by Christmas...and then added on another 15 after Christmas. I felt so miserable, self conscious and uncomfortable. It was not a good time. But, leave it to me and my determination (sometimes to a fault - ask Jon), I got it in gear and lost that weight by the following fall of my sophomore year of college. I felt so much better.
Since then I've just been so up and down. I'd gain some then lose some...but I guess I did a little more of the former because by the time Jon and I got engaged in November of my senior year of college, I was back up about 15 lbs. So, in January my determination set in again and by the time our wedding rolled around in July I had lost about 17 lbs.
So, you see the trend....always unhappy with my weight, always concerned about gaining and losing...always frustrated...always ashamed.
Well, I've decided not to be ashamed any more. I've been doing Weight Watchers online for about two years now- since the January before our wedding. I never want to tell anyone. I've had this misconception that I'm the only that worries about my weight, so I felt like if people knew, then they would think I was weird or that I had some serious problem. In talking to various people lately I've realized that that is a lie from Satan. Many people struggle with and worry about their weight.
When we got back to the States in July, I decided to join an actual Weight Watchers meeting. One main reason was because I need a social outlet. Being a nanny, I've found it to be a challenge to get out and meet people. So, I thought joining WW would be a good way for me to meet people with whom I have something in common with. Yes, as I'm sure you're wondering, I was concerned that it would just be a bunch of "old women" and there are some of those...and they are so nice! But there are also several girls my age who are a lot like me. It's been so fun to attend these meetings every week. The people are so nice and so encouraging. I get great recipe ideas and great ideas about how to maintain a healthy weight while living in a society that, for the most part, does not promote that. I've also had the joy of being a part of the "Lose for Good" program that WW is doing right now. For every pound that is lost, WW will donate $1 to food charities, internationally and nationally. So, while I get to focus on staying healthy and feeling good, I also get to contribute to helping people who are hungry. Another thing that I've really enjoyed about being a WW member is it gives me a goal to work toward. Each week, whether I lose or gain weight, I still feel really good that I'm working toward something that I can feel proud of. And I'm not just talking about being a smaller size, but about preventing a future of heart problems, diabetes, joint pain etc.
Jon has encouraged me to be more vocal about all of this for a long time, but as I said earlier I was scared. However, I finally decided to share this part of my life after my WW meeting last night. Every Tuesday night I go to WW, then Jon and I have date night, which usually consists of eating out, getting ice cream and playing with Olive...all of which we made happen last night. It really doesn't get any better than my favorite person in the world, my favorite dog in the world, and my favorite ice cream!! Here's a shout out for cappuccino chunky chocolate (all in moderation of course:)!

We went to Big Lots and got Olive a new toy before we went home. It's a sheep that bleats....and she loves it, as you can see. In case you can't tell, she is not jumping in this picture, she is hanging from the sheep by her teeth! I promise we aren't cruel...she just won't let go of the darn thing!