is what I feel like I've been on lately when it comes to house buying.
J and I are in our third year of marriage. The first year that we were married, we lived in an apartment. We didn't want to get tied down by buying a house because we knew we were interested in going overseas. Our second year of marriage was spent living in Thailand. Coming home from Thailand , we were lucky to be able to find a decent apartment due to only being able to shop online.
Since we got back to the States last July, we've gradually become more and more discontent with our apartment. We've been itching to live somewhere with more privacy and somewhere that we can paint, decorate etc. We've kind of had the mindset that we're at the stage of life in which we "deserve" to buy a home. Most of our friends already have houses...as well as children! It's kind of become a sort of entitlement issue in some ways.
Within the last few months we've really started working toward getting a house. We've been saving much more money than we were before, and we spend tons of time looking at houses, talking about houses, watching house shows. We even go to open houses every Sunday afternoon. We've completely adopted the mindset that we will be buying a house in the coming months, and be ready to move in when our lease is up in July.
We felt like we had thought through the financial side of it all as well. We've gotten on a savings plan which we felt like would put us in a fairly good place to be able to buy, and we felt strongly that it would be much better to just go ahead and buy so that we're not throwing money away on rent every month.
Then last night we went over to our friends' house to have dinner. They have been married for three years, and they just had a baby about 6 months ago. They had their house built a couple of years ago, and we absolutely love it. We love everything about the house and their neighborhood. We've gotten tips from them and information about building a house instead of buying an existing one, and we've really been thinking that that's what we would like to do. Last night we were basically "drilling" them on all things regarding house building and buying. They are always so great to answer all of our questions, give us advice, and share their experience with us. In discussing everything with them last night, however, they shared with us how they feel about the financial side of things regarding their house and how they would have done things differently if they had known what they know now. They pointed out some things that really made J and I think...and begin to reevaluate this decision. Many of the facts that they talked about really made sense to me. Without making this really long by sharing all of the details, I'll just say that they challenged us to really make sure that we feel that it's the best financial decision for us to buy right now.
J and I spent all last night and most of this morning discussing all of this. I feel like we've done a complete 180 from where we were this past weekend when we were out searching for our dream home. We don't necessarily want to completely change our plan based on one conversation with one couple. We still need to discuss everything more and settle on a final decision, but right now it's looking like we may be "dreaming" of buying a house for another couple of years. The good news is that at least we can get out of this apartment and find a rent house - that will be at least a little bit of an upgrade on the things that are bothering us. And, so far in the midst of the disappointment of thinking that we might not buy now, I really do feel a peace about this decision. So...here's to the joy of doing what you think is the "right" thing instead of what you really want to do! (Can you sense the sarcasm?)
On a lighter note....wish me luck today as I'm off to the salon to get a haircut!! If you read two posts below, you would know that there's little chance that I'm keeping the same cut that I've had for the last six weeks. In fact, this months hair adventure involves a little less scissor action...and a lot more patience! Yep, that's right, I'm growing it out. My stylist is going to think I've lost it considering I've gone with a new, shorter do the last 4 times I've gone in there!
I needed to get these "house thoughts" on paper this morning b/c it's really weighing on me, but I still plan to post a weekend update later, which will mainly feature the brutality that was our 10 mile run on Sunday. It was not pretty:(
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11 comments:
I can totally relate! We are in the house buying process right now, and it is the most frustrating process ever! My thoughts are with you.
I can empathize about growing hair out too... I love mine short, but am growing it out for the wedding (aah!), so good luck!
I can totally understand everything you just said. We just moved in to our custom home last February and we were married for almost 4 years by then. I hated throwing money away to rent as well, and it did take us some time to finally reach the point where we felt like we were ready to take such a huge financial committment. We have absolutely no regrets, and love our new home. :) Just pray about it and if anything, find a cute rent house once your lease is up this summer and see how that goes. I am glad we waited until we felt the time was right. :)
Post pics of your new 'do!! :) I have got to get in to see my stylist soon!!
oh girl, just a year ago we were in your same shoes (we also custom built a townhome)...there was so much i learned financially that i wish i had known before. i don't regret our decision to buy when we did, but next time i will do things differently for sure.
I'll be praying for you that God gives you the peace you both need to make the best decision for you!
If there is one thing I wish I could do over it would be the purchase of my house. At the time I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. So I truly do admire your patience. I love my house, I love my neighborhood, it's just not where I want it to be, and now I'm stuck. If only I hadn't rushed into such a huge committment. What I wouldn't give to not have a mortgage payment!
I totally know how you feel! We are so ready to be out of an apartment but at the same time we know that a house is a HUGE commitment! We are still house hunting as of right now though. We will see what happens...
I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. Mr. R is looking into getting a home and it's a lot of drama and yes's and no's. I can tell it's very stressful. I can't wait to see the hair either! :)
just remember a house is the best investment you can make....and intrest rates are really low right now! we just closed on our hose at 4.7%!!! just relax and try to enjoy the whole process! it will awesome when your done and will be the best investment!! i wish you the best with it!
good luck with the hair! i'm trying to grow mine too! it's terrible! from a hairdressers stand point....for change while growing, just do something with the color! that's what i do. when i think i'm sick of it and i want to chop it again, i do something fun with the color! good luck! it will be beautiful whatever you do!
I was just looking at your profile and I see you like Karen Kingsbury ... I'm a sucker for her books. Once I start one I can't stop until I've ready it all!
As far as Eagle Eye is concerned, we liked how intense it was the whole time but then felt like the ended way too quickly, like you just kinda fell off a cliff, ha. What did you think?
Good luck on your house decisions, too! That kind of thing can be stressful at times, but it'll all work out for the best : )
Woohoo, you're growing your hair out!! I had the same hc for YEARS, short and stacked and finally started growing it out 6 months ago.
About house buying, I think it's a great idea. Right now is a great time to buy a house because of the economy.
We are still trying to sell our house back in OK, man its a BAD time to sell, but it really is a good time to buy!
Good luck with your decisions and keep us updated ;)
mmmmph!
We bought a house after 4 months of marriage. We just knew it was what we wanted. We sold it to moved to Brazil 4 years later and since we are moving back to the States in Oct we are looking for houses right now.
Every worry, concern and financial strain a house can bring is worth it for me. I love having it decorated the way I want it, a garden in my backyard and my pug to be able to look out the screen door at the street. :)
Honestly, if it is really something you want to do, it could not be a better time. The low rates are resulting in incredible deals and there are people out there who are needing to sell. You would probably end up being someone's miracle. :) It's a tough decision, but it will work out. Keep praying!
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